So on the 26th September this year, I was lucky enough to marry my best friend. I can honestly say it was the best day of my life!
We had the big white traditional wedding, with the church, flowers, cars etc. But on top of that, we were lucky enough to have the best atmosphere ever and the evening just turned into one big party!
I pretty much planned the wedding myself… and that is not because nobody offered. No matter how many times my husband or my family tried to help, my inner control freak came out and I just wanted to sort everything myself! Although it paid off in the end, being the way I am was exhausting.. it meant a lot of long hours planning and in the end some reluctant delegating.
So now that it has all been and gone and I am happily married, I wanted to share my top 5 tips to help you bride-to-be’s out there…I hope they help!
1.Remember why you are doing it! – Blinded by all of the colour selections, music choices and food menus, it is unbelievably easy to forget the simple reason behind your big day… You are marrying the man/woman of your dreams! It is so ironic that the day which is meant to be about you two as a couple often becomes the day where you are trying to please everybody else but yourselves! I remember having all special gifts sorted for both the bridesmaids, ushers and our parents way before the wedding. But when it came to my husband James, I was running around the week before trying to sort something! If you are a people pleaser like me, you will always hold a worry that for some reason people won’t enjoy. But from one worrier to another, please try not to! Your guests will enjoy because you are enjoying. So when you are stressing over who sits where and whether Uncle Bob likes chicken or not, just take a step back and remember the whole reason you are doing it in the first place. Trust me, itll make every other thought feel so small!
2. Plan then rest, then plan! – There is nothing wrong with being organised. If you are like me and it is in your blood, then there won’t be a day which passes where you do not think about your wedding planning. Having said that, one thing I would change if I could is that I would have left a lot of the planning until last minute. Booking your venue, cake, flowers, cars etc has to be done in advance if you want the benefit of choice. I would recommend booking the bigger things and getting your deposits down well in advance i.e. atleast year. But once you can tick the big things off your list… REST! I stressed over table plans, favours and all the little things way to early. The problem with this was that I had to change things numerous times. Guess what?! People and life changes in a year! People may come in and out of your lives, your tastes may change, a guest of the bridal party may drastically lose weight and because of all these things, your best bet is to keep the finer details until much later on. I would recommend having at least a nine month break and only start up again 3 months before your big day. If you like to be doing something all the time and just can’t help yourself, then spend the time making a scrapbook or diary adding different ideas, colour schemes etc to it. You are so much better off doing that and having your final choice when it comes to decision making rather than making some rash decisions and spending money rectifying them!
3. Be selfish – It is so easy to be tied up in the ‘I think you should invite…’ or ‘But I think this will be better’ discussions. Although you should be open to ideas and thoughts of friends and family members, you have to remember that it is you and your partners big day, not theirs! This also goes for guest invites. Be selfish when it comes to who you want there to celebrate your big day. For some reason, there is this idea that just because somebody has the label of ‘family’ attached to them, they have the priority to be invited before any friends. This seems so ridiculous to me, especially if you see some friends everyday, but can’t even remember what the family member looks like. Yes, it would be lovely to invite everyone… but if you can’t then you and your partner must invite who you want there to celebrate your big day, whether that be friends or family. Be selfish. Invite who makes you feel special and loved the most.
4. Remember who you are! – It is lovely to feel beautiful on your wedding day. Before my big day I had the nails, the tan, the hair, the eyelashes.. basically the full works! I was reading some articles before my wedding just like this one, and I’ll never forget one which recommended all sorts of weird and wonderful things. It was going on about changing your skin regime to improve your skin, starting a new gym program, drinking these ridiculous concoctions. Although you need to do whatever makes you feel beautiful, do not go re-inventing yourself a couple of weeks before your wedding! The truth is, if you felt that bad about yourself in the first place, you would have started something a long time ago! Accentuate what you have, but don’t try and change yourself. You want to feel comfortable in your own skin walking down the aisle. So for example, if you have always had pale skin and have never worn a tan in your life, why start now? Your husband/wife is marrying you, so give them you!
5. ENJOY IT! – It is SO easy to make a mountain out of a molehill when it comes to any details a couple of weeks before your wedding. The truth is, when it comes to the day you will not give a monkeys! Every small detail you have planned will seem insignificant. You will be so overwhelmed by emotion and happiness, that you really won’t care. A lot of people told me that before my wedding day and I didn’t believe them…but it is so true! Your glass will be half full on your wedding day and you will naturally turn any negative into a positive without even realising it. It’s raining? So what, imagine the pictures kissing under an umbrella in the rain! Somebody didn’t turn up? So what, more drink for your other guests! It is hard to believe now, but I promise you it will happen.
So that’s it! I hope these helped calm any pre-wedding nerves!